Anyone who has ever been cheated on can attest to the fact that affairs are shattering, heartbreaking events.  They can and very often do end relationships.  It is hard to rebuild trust.

If you’ve been cheated on, know that it’s perfectly understandable for your trust in your spouse to be shaken.  If you’re the one who cheated, know that it might take a long time for your spouse to fully trust you again, if they ever can at all.

Steps to Rebuild Trust

Regardless of which side of the affair you stand on, here are five tips for rebuilding the trust in your relationship.

Address Why It Happened

People cheat for all kinds of reasons, and the motivation behind you or your partner’s infidelity will change how you process it.

Long-standing affairs might be seen and handled differently than one night stands fueled by poor impulse control.

Don’t Trivialize Your Feelings

If you’re the one who was cheated on, it’s perfectly reasonable to feel angry and betrayed.

Don’t feel like you have to forgive your partner the moment they apologize.  Don’t downplay the hurt you feel for your partner’s sake.

Set New Rules

An affair is not a reason for the cheater to lose all their privacy, but rebuilding trust will probably call for a new set of rules.  The person that was cheated on might not want to be intimate again right away.  They might have new expectations of their partner.  This is normal.

Be Blunt

If you were the one who was hurt, tell your partner exactly how their actions made you feel.  It’s okay to tell someone that they’ve disappointed you.  Rebuilding trust after an affair requires communication.  Be straightforward.

Move On

Depending on how things go after the affair, hopefully you’ll be able to move past it together with faith and trust in each other.  Though the past can be painful, as long as trust has been rebuilt and maintained, it’s important to learn to leave it behind.

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http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/10-steps-to-healing-a-relationship-after-an-affair/